GOLD has been on my mind lately. I’ve come to realize (maybe I’ve always known this), that there is a lot of dirt in the process of digging for gold. When we dig for gold, we have to move the dirt from one place to another. The dirt has to be agitated and shaken. Then, usually, you will find flakes of gold with the occasional gold nugget mixed in with the dirt, mud and water.

When it comes to finding the gold in my own life, I had to go through a similar process. One of the things that I’ve experienced in the digging process is that it hurts a little, and sometimes a lot. I’ve talked to others who have also said that this process has been a painful one, as they’ve allowed the dirt that is covering the gold to be exposed. This process is really messy and its truly hard work as the dirt is being removed, the gold sifted and the process agitated.

Speaking of my own experiences, I have had times while searching for the gold in my own life where I had to move the dirt around and out of the way (gossip, hurt, disappointment, self hatred, etc.). I have also noticed that sometimes the dirt wasn’t put there by us or our life experiences, but we are still responsible for recognizing the dirt and getting it OUT of the way. There is a process that will usually come after the gold has been ground. It’s called the refining process. I’ll explain more later.

When I first dedicated my life to my Creator, I was a wreck. I had decided to stop using substances that hid my authentic self, and I was also in the process of grieving my mother’s death, who had died of Alzheimer’s disease. During this process, I cried a lot and was constantly in the scriptures where I found solace. As I was looking for the gold in the refining process (which is an ongoing process) I would notice that everything that was previously suppressed in my life was coming to the surface. There were times when the hurt and pain was so raw that this is what people encountered from me. Thank God for those in my life that loved me through it all. Soon, God moved me into understanding the process and it felt as though a door of understanding had opened up for me. I learned how to give THE GOLD and not the dirt, so to speak. I am still learning that my actions, which are often generated by past hurts and disappointments, do not need to be passed on to others.

God is the one that I choose to lay down the dirt of my life to. This is why the actions of the cross are not in vain for me.

There is scripture, which speaks to me about this process. Its found in Proverbs 3:5-8. It states:

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart

And do not lean on your understanding

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;

Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your body and

Refreshment to your bones.

This scripture absolutely rings true to me and indeed I have found healing for my heart. Now is the process that will continue for the rest of my life as I give God the pain, the hurt, and everything else. I am actually giving Him my whole heart; the happy heart, the sad heart, and everything in between. The refining process is actually a process where the gold smith will heat up the gold until it melts into a liquid form. The gold is heated to the point that it boils. When gold is heated to the right temperature, it allows the impurities to come to the surface. The impurities are then skimmed off the top and the process continues until the impurities are gone and the goldsmith can see his reflection in the gold. This is why the “process” is so important. I want God to be able to see His reflection in me. This truly produces a heart of gold.